Great Ideas: Smart ways to resolve conflicts

In business, conflict is as common—and as unwelcome—as taxes. Even if you’ve cultivated harmonious relationships with your business partner, staff, investors, customers and suppliers, sooner or later you’ll end up in a dispute with at least one key stakeholder. The key is to manage the disputes constructively. In Conversations for Change: 12 Ways to Say It Right When It Matters Most, business communications specialist and entrepreneur Shawn Kent Hayashi shares several conversational tactics designed to resolve divergent opinions without burning any bridges.

•Don’t ignore the problem

The old maxim “what you resist, persists” applies to conflict resolution. Instead of stewing about a disagreement, acknowledge that there is a problem early on, and initiate a resolution process right away. If you think your HR manager’s idea for a new recruitment plan is misguided, for instance, apprise her of the fact that you have concerns and invite her to meet the next day to discuss the issue.

•Turn up your emotional radar

Often, a conflict has little do to with the subject under dispute. A disagreement can be a front for deep-seated feelings of vulnerability, fear or anger. Identifying such emotions in the person you’re at odds with can give you greater understanding of what’s really the matter, therefore expediting the resolution process. Say a client has come to you with what you feel are unreasonable demands. Before meeting with him, do some recon to see whether there’s anything else—like displeasure with how you executed a past contract, or stress over his own cost-cutting targets—to get a clearer picture of his emotional state.

•Check your ego

Conflict resolution isn’t about being “right”; it’s about moving past a point of discord to a mutually beneficial outcome. As difficult as it can be, it’s important to temper any desires you might have to prove the other party wrong. Think of your conversation as a collaborative discussion—one that may unearth previously unrealized opportunities, no less—instead of a competitive debate.

•Make it clear you care

No one likes to feel as if their opinions are being dismissed. It’s important to impart that you are interested in understanding your colleague’s point of view—even if you think you fundamentally disagree with it. Extend an olive branch by starting the conversation with the following: “I’d like to hear more about your feelings on this matter. Would you be willing to share more so I can better understand your perspective?” By asking questions and really listening to the answers, you’ll demonstrate a willingness to foster a problem-solving dialogue, which will encourage the other party to drop any defenses and do the same.